The Transfers Raise Hell
by Steggy Likes Juice Boxes
Summary: Sequel to The transfers by Proud Bishonen Whore. They seem like normal average girls, so why are they staying at Wayne Manor? And what kinds of problems will arise when the League needs a place to stay too?
1. It Was a Dark and Stormy Night

Hello again. This is the sequel to The Transfers which is posted under Harry Potter by Proud Bishonen Whore. Probably don't need to read the first one to understand it most of the stuff will be explained eventually. Or you might read them both and none of it will make sense. Oh well. That's just how we roll.

Disclaimer: Think I'd be sitting here writing an essay for a high school English class if I owned any of this?

* * *

It was a dark and stormy night. The howling winds were…howling? Three shadowy figures appear in the window of Arkham.

THUNDER!

Dun dun dun duuuun…

Screams!

Pain!

Slap!

"CHEATING WHORE!" screamed an outraged voice.

"No I'm not! That was my hand!"

"No it wasn't, my hand hit it first!"

"Was not! That was _my _hand!"

"It was my hand! See how my hand is on _top _of yours!"

"My friends are so weird," said a third voice.

The pile of cards on the table shivered as the two girls stood up, glaring daggers across the table at each other. A third still sat, looking sort of awkwardly neutral.

"Bitch those are my cards. Hand them over you little butt munch. Now what do you say to that kind sir"

The 'cheating whore' starts choking on water. The 'true winner' starts to poke her with a stick once the 'cheating whore' falls to the ground. The 'cheating whore' quickly recovers and orders the innocent bystander to smack the 'true winner' in the face. The 'true winner' sticks her tongue out at the 'cheating whore' the 'cheating whore' then gives her a pig nose. The innocent bystander just shakes her head. The 'true winner' then gives the innocent bystander and hug/choke hold. The bystander tells her she loves her too. The 'true winner' replies that this isn't about love.

Suddenly a big scary boss man busts open the door and screams "Allie! One of the prisoners threw semen at a visitor. Clean it up!" Allie formally known as 'cheating whore' got up.

"Man this kind of thing never happened at Hog-…my old job." She complains.

"Janis! Go with her and subdue the prisoner." Janis or 'innocent bystander' gets up and gets her tranquillizer gun ready. "And you!" He yelled at the 'true winner' "Damn it Jackie why aren't you spreading the happy?! I don't see enough happy!"

"But," Jackie protests, "This place is wonderful! It's always so happy!"

"Then we don't need you! You're fired!"

"Did I say wonderful? I mean horrible. Bad, bad place. I can feel the icky vibes. I better go spread the happy." Jackie picks up the head to her bunny mascot outfit and hops off to entertain the prisoners.

As the girls get ready for work they see Batman coming sown the hallway bringing in a prisoner. It was the Joker. Jackie starts squealing like the little fangirl that she is. Janis loads her tranq gun and starts shooting like a crazy woman. "Hey B-man whats up my homie B? Say where's the little bat at?" Allie asks him.

"He's with the Titans."

"Aww he left you? I'm so sorry." Jackie says sadly.

"That's…quite all right." Batman responds.

"Wait… how the hell do you know Batman?!" Jackie yells at Allie.

"Well…"

-Flashback-

It was early in the morning in Wayne Manor. It was completely quiet except for a TV blasting Saturday morning cartoons in one of the many rooms. Allie is sitting on the arm of the couch swinging her legs boredly. Bruce Wayne walks by then stops and does a double take. He goes into the room. Being so early in the morning he was not entirely there. So the severity of a complete stranger being in his house didn't occur to him like it normally would have.

"Who are you?"

"New neighbor."

"We don't have neighbors."

"Well I was just walking by and saw this window open…" Allie gestures to the big window in the room that was now completely shattered.

"But then how did you-"

"Look," Allie interrupts him "It's too early for this. You don't even exist to me until like eleven thirty."

"Agreed." And they watched cartoons together.

A few days later…

Bruce was sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee and reading a newspaper. Alfred was there doing some dishes. Allie walks in and opens the fridge. She takes out a carton of orange juice and starts to drink it out of the carton. Bruce looked up when she walked in but then ignored her. Alfred had stopped what he was doing and was staring at her.

"Young lady how did you get in here?!"

"I have a key! Did you just call me young lady? Thanks, coach. You just earned yourself a clipboard for Christmas…prick."

"Master Bruce why on earth would you give her a key?!"

"Well…she'd bust open a window if I didn't."

-End Flashback-

"And we've been together ever since." Allie ends dreamily. "Wait. How do you know Batman?"

"It all started with a penny in a door. There was a hatred I have never felt before. So now I'll make him pay each and everyday. Until that little moose hair is no more." Said Jackie

"What the hell? What does that have anything to do with Batman?"

"Nothing. I was thinking of someone else. That dirty bastard tried to steal my mermaid. Anyways it all started a few years ago….."

-Flashback-

It was a sunny. Jackie was running down the street with a bra full of stolen chocolately goodness. She is soon stopped by the Dark Knight. They look at each other and Batman stares at her.

"No." He says.

Jackie sighs and gives him her chocolately goodness and walks away to rob a yaoi store.

"By the way my names Jackie."

"Batman."

"I know. I have a Joker and you slash picture saved on my computer." She then runs away leaving the Batman standing.

-End of Flashback.-

"…And that's how it started" finished Jackie

"That's it?" said Allie pretending to yawn

"Hey they can't all be winners."

"Whatever." They both look a Janis.

-Flashback-

"Wheeeee!!!!!! Only three more laps to go in the super important NASCAR race. VROOM! And the crowd goes wild! AHHHH!!!!"

…meanwhile

"Alfred where's the Bat mobile?"

"I don't know sir."

"Oh shit. I'll take the motorcycle to find it."

So after many turns and road signs Batman finally catches sight of his missing vehicle, and the crazy chick that was driving it. After much insane driving, yelling, and flashy lights, Batman finally gets Janis to pull over. But, she stops suddenly causing the Bat-cycle to collide with the Batmobile just hard enough to make the car alarm go off. Janis begins to sing along while ignoring Batman's demands to turn the alarm off and get out of the car.

"Helloooooooooooooooooooo. I'm a caaaaaaaaaaaaaaar. Gasoline makes me run! Wait this is my favorite part! Backseats! Trunk space! Hellooooooooooooo. Let's go for a ride! Oil is my blood! Seatbelts! Regal knobs!" Janis then turns it off but still doesn't get out of the car.

"Thank you! Damn that sound just always makes me wanna punch a baby." Batman tells her.

"Really now? Woo. Kami forbid you were in a nursery when you heard it!"

"I know. God help me. But it's just the sound that makes me punch infants."

"Hm. Its okay nobodies perfect. Speaking of which, why'd you pull me over? I was driving along. I was driving safely! I was obeying the rules of the road! Seriously! Every sign that came at me I read it and was like 'Okay! You got it sign!'" Janis tried to defend herself.

"You stole my car! And then you put a dent in the back of it!"

"Ooooooooh. Really?!" She jumps out of the car to look. "YAY! We're bumper buddies!" Janis then offers him a high five which a very confused Batman returns.

-End Flashback-

"Yeah I like hers better. Yours only had crime. Janis' had crime AND car chases." Allie comments. "But mine was still the coolest. I did a B and E, losers."

"Bacon and eggs?" Janis tilts her head, perplexed.

"No. Breaking and entering. Don't get me wrong. Bacon and eggs is fucking delicious I can do bacon and eggs any time." The Batman and Joker just stared on as the girls carried on their argument. The Joker had even stopped struggling for a second to watch.

"Wait a second what are you girls doing here?" Batman had been wondering why three high school aged girls were in an insane asylum.

"Well you see…we can't really say." Janis says nervously.

"Yea," Allie adds "Ancient Chinese secret." She winks. Batman just stares at them.

"Okay okay! Well lest just say we got in trouble with some certain people and a certain organization, who shall remained unnamed, COUGH Witness protection program COUGH, thought it would be good to relocate us for our own good." Jackie explains.

"We work here now!" Janis smiles.

"I clean up icky stuff!"

"I shoot stuff!"

"I spread the happy!"

"Wait here. I'll dispatch of the Joker then we need to talk."

"Kay!"

The Batman continues to lead the Joker down the hall.

"You're friends are so weird!" Joker giggled as soon as the girls were out of sight.

"Shut up."

* * *

The girls and Batman we're sitting in the employee lounge of Arkham. Which was basically some dentist office waiting room quality chairs and a water cooler.

"You know after we ran into to you the Joker didn't give me any more trouble on the way down," Batman informed the girls.

"Hey, we're a pretty distracting group." Allie shrugs.

"That we are," Jackie agrees. "We should get a medal."

"Or at least a piece of paper with the stamp of the signature of someone important I've never heard of before." Janis said.

"Yeah! And jackets!" Jackie yells.

"Matching jackets." Allie says.

"Like the Pink Ladies." Jackie decides.

"No. More like the T-Birds. I look good in leather." They all agree.

"You're straying from the point." Batman informs them.

"Hey it's not our fault!" Janis asserts.

"Yeah. America should just be diagnosed with ADD. Bottom line." Jackie says and Allie nods.

"Where have you been staying?" Batman asks, seeming to have already gotten used to their strange behavior.

"Here!"

"I fixed up some old cells for us!" Allie states proudly. "Yeah I put real doors on and installed some windows."

"Yeah but you still haven't put a flag on our flag pole!" Jackie yells at her.

"What do you want me to do? Hello!? We're at WAR! All the American flags are on back order! Should I just run a pirate flag up there in the meantime?! Maybe turn the whole building into a pirate ship?!" Allie starts to get angry until she thinks about it. "I could put a captain's wheel up on the roof. Catch a parrot some how. Slap on an eye patch. Go to work with a caulk gun...seal her up, make her water tight. I could take her out to sea."

"Are you insane?" Janis asks her.

"No." Allie crosses her arms defiantly. "I'm a pirate."

"Ahem." Batman clears his throat. The girls look at him. "I know you three are aware of my alter-ego." They nod. "Well I happen to have some extra space. How would you like to crash with me for a while? You three are already nearly mentally unstable. This isn't a good place for you."

The three musketeers stare at him.

"You mean…"

"You want…"

"OF COURSE WE WILL!"

"My enthusiasm towards this burns with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns!" Allie yells.

"Ummm…what?" Poor Janis is confused again.

"Long story short, I've been drinking all day."

"What did I just do?" Batman hits himself in the forehead in a very un-Batmanlike manner.

* * *

And so it begins…

Written with Proud Bishonen Whore and Felerri.

Tell us if you like it!


	2. Unconscious

Disclaimer :Don't own Justice League, I can barley spell it.

Trickster91 : If that kinda thing bothers you. You might want to stop reading right now.

* * *

Batman was about to make his way to the door only to be stopped by his new house guests. 

"Where you going?" asked Jackie

"Don't play with the stove," Ordered Batman before making a dramatic exit.

"Is that what you think we do all day?" asked Janis

"Oh where's the stove. We're gonna turn it on and off. We're crazy!" yells Allie

-Five minutes later-

Alfred was about to start dinner for Bruce and the girls. When he walked in the kitchen, he saw the three girls crowded around the stove.

"Do it again," said Jackie.

"What are you ladies doing?" asked Alfred

"Checking for termites," lied Janis

"In the oven?"

"Oven termites. I saw it on the discovery channel. Nasty little things." continued Allie

"Didn't Master Bruce say not to touch the oven?" asked Alfred

"Umm...No?" said Jackie. The girls looked at each other and ran out of the kitchen. Allie returned momentarily to get the sprinkles. She then disappeared upstairs.

* * *

-Later That Night-

Bruce returns home at four o' clock in the morning looking really tired.

"It's quiet. To quiet. Something's going on here." He searches the house for his guests. He finds

the three of them gathered outside the laundry room…with baseball bats in hand, looking very paranoid.

"What the hell are-"

"Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Jackie shushed him.

"But-"

"Sh!"

Batman rolls his eyes. "What are you doing?" He whispered.

"It's laundry!" Janis informs him.

"…"

"In the dryer!" Jackie says getting impatient.

"And?"

"Haunted laundry!' Allie whispers getting her bat ready.

"I'm not dealing with this." Batman decides as he goes to bed.

* * *

-Next Morning!-(Aka 4 o' clock in the afternoon)

The girls come down the stairs in their PJs. Bruce is at the table looking just as tired as the young girls.

Just then Alfred walks through the door. "Good afternoon Master Bruce, Ladies"

"Helllllllllllllllo butler"

"So how bout some breakfast?"

"It's four in the afternoon."

"Lunch?"

"It's _four _in the afternoon."

"Dinner?"

"It's – four – in the afternoon."

"Brunch?"

The butler shook his head.

"Linner? Dunch?"

"Those aren't words."

"If bootyliciuos is in the dictionary then linner has got to be!" protests Jackie.

"Guys, calm down. I've got to tell you something. I was going to tell you last night but you seemed…preoccupied."

"Oh my gosh who died?!" Allie got excited.

Batman ignores her and continues, "We'll be having some other guest. Thanks to those stupid aliens."

"Goddamn Mexicans." Jackie pouts.

"Not those aliens. The Justice League will be staying here." He said annoyed.

"Who's the Justice League?" Janis asks.

The Batman sighed. "Well, "So you wanna know about the Justice League? The real Justice League? Well I'll tell you. The big blue boy scout is nothing but a two bit, pervert, peeping tom. He uses his x-ray and telescopic vision to beat off in space while watching women in Victoria's Secret. And when they walk out of the mall and they look up in the sky and its raining. Come on people. It doesn't rain just like that. And what about the Amazon hooker and her lasso of bondage and the star spangled panties that are so far up her ass it's whipping her pancreas. She been around the League tower more time then I have been around Gotham."

"Oh deary dear." Jackie replied.

"Yes. I'm afraid I'm going to have to move you to the west win-…no the….no…the basement?...no….the attic?"

"I love attics!"

"Let's boogie!' They run off to move all their stuff and set up a new home base.

* * *

-Later That Day-

Batman was showing the League their new temporary home.

"You can pick out your rooms in th-" Suddenly a loud crash was heard from the attic. The League looked around then at Batman.

"What was that?" Asked Flash

"Rats. I have very large rats." Bruce said very plainly.

"I got the horse whore!"

"Bitch it is MY horse!"

"It's my house!"

"No it's not its Brucey's!"

"Well I live here! "

"So do I!"

"You know what gimme the beer. No more for you! You've had enough to kill a small horse!"

"I DO NOT DRINK TO KILL ANIMALS! What the hell? I haven't been able to speak full sentences for an hour! Now I gotta defend myself!?"

"Uhhh…Large drunken rats." Bruce left it at that then proceeded into the mansion.

* * *

-Later That Night-

The League was eating dinner in the dining room, and Hawkgirl and Green Lantern were fighting.

"What should we do?"

"I think we should fight them!"

"NO! We need to get in carefully"

"AND FIGHT THEM!"

Slowly a black sailor G.I.Joe rises from under the table between The Green Lantern and Hawkgirl. A Barbie with taped on paper wings begins to raise as well. Batman is the only one who sees it and shakes his head.

"Oh Black sailor G.I. Joe I'm pregnant," came a falsetto voice from under the table. Green Lantern and Hawkgirl are to busy fighting to notice. The rest of the table are have a 'WTF' moment.

"You filthy cheating whore!" Slap! "How could you do this to me? " Stab. "You little bitch!" Yells Black sailor G.I. Joe.

"I'm sorry. It was your fault I was unconscious," said Barbie with paper wings taped to her back."

"Bitch don't disrespect a man like that in front of his peeps." Slap "Plus you said no. I had a boner what I going to do?" kick "Oh baby you are making me so hot right now." Says Black sailor G.I. Joe. He then tackles Barbie with wings taped to her back.

"Take me now. Right here in front of everyone. HARD!" yells with wings taped to her back.

Hawkgirl and Green Lantern finally notice and stop their fight.

"MOAN" yells with wings taped to her back. "UNCONSCIOUS!"

"Why is she unconscious?" asked the Flash

"Because she is getting her head banged on the table," says the dark knight "weren't you watching?"

"Black sailor G.I. Joe I'm pregnant too. And it not boy scouts," says a Barbie that has risen from under the table that looks remarkably like Wonder Woman.

"Well get over here darling. Let's make a second baby," says Black Sailor G.I. Joe.

"Oh no she didn't," says Wonder Woman

"Oh yes she did," says Batman

"Meow," says a cat that is the newest actor in our play "Meow."

"Janis that is not part of the plot," whines the voice of the Wonder Woman Doll.

"Mrroooow." The cat slowly sinks down. Once it disappears a giraffes slowly slides up the other side of the table by Superman.

"Giraaaafe!" Superman turned his head to look but it dives back under the table.

"I have your soul!" It jumps on Superman's other side then disappears.

"I own you! Return to your lord and master!"

"Shut up!" Superman tells it.

"Clark who are you talking to?" Wonder Woman asks trying to ignore the show going on at the other side of the table, which had deteriorated to moans and giggles.

"Huh? Oh nothing. No voices. Nope. None at all." Superman says fearing for his sanity.

"That's right Clark. Lie! Like you always do!' Says the Giraffe from his left ear.

"Go away!" He yells causing the table to go quiet once again except for the moans and giggle form under the table. Then the giraffe slowly starts to slide up by Bruce, then it suddenly stops when he kicks something under the table.

"Umm…yeah. These rats. I gotta do something about that…" He grins awkwardly. When he sees the 'rats' sneaking out of the door in the corner he lets out the laugh he'd been trying to hold in for the past few minutes. The League stares on in confusion.


	3. In the Closet

I don't own Justice League, or Jeopardy, or Mary Poppins, or Bruce Springsteen. You may think all that is irrelevant but just wait till you read.

We don't normally update this soon but I had a late night with lotsa soda.

* * *

Once again, it is late at night. Three figures are slinking down the empty hallways of Wayne Manor. 

"Are you sure this'll work?" One shadow asked.

"Of course it will. I saw it on the internet," The second one assured the others.

"And if it's on the internet, it must be true!" The last figure agreed.

"What if they wake up while we're doing it?" Wonders the first figure.

"Hehe. 'doing it.' Don't worry they'll understand."

"It's for their own good."

"And plus I have this!" The second figure holds up a bottle of chloroform.

"Okay then. You ready?"

"Yeah."

"Thundercats HO!"

* * *

Clark had been sleeping peacefully despite the evening's strange occurrences. He was jerked awake because his super hearing picked up voices. 

"Shut your hatch!"

"Hey I'm just saying!" Gasp! That last one sounded familiar! Time to solve this mystery once and for all.

"Who's there?!" Clark demanded.

"Uh…I am your lord and master! Ooooooo…..Go back to sleep," Clark could now see three shapes in his room.

"No you're not," He gets up and turns on the light. Jackie, Janis, and Allie are there wearing camouflage outfits with tin foil hats on their heads.

"Who are you?!" He asked them harshly.

"I am the world's greatest short putter. Not to mention being a descent of John Wilkes Booth." Jackie said proudly.

"Hey want some chloroform?" Allie asked.

"No." Clark responded as he grabbed the three girls by the backs of their shirts. "I'll have to talk to Batman when he gets back." He said as he put them in the room's large closet and locked the door.

* * *

"Well now what do we do?" Janis sits down on a box. 

"Well, it's no Allie Cave, but I've got a mop!" Allie informs them all.

"Well how is that going to help?" Jackie asked.

"Got any markers?" Allie grins crazily.

"Always." Jackie replies getting out her markers.

* * *

"Maybe you'll think this sounds crazy. But if loving you is crazy, I don't wanna be sane! Francis I love you!" Jackie declares to the upside down mop that Allie had drawn a face on. 

"Oh Jackie for so long I've dreamed of you lips on my crudely drawn mouth." Francis the mop replied, in Allie's same high pitched voice from the dining room table. "When we met I was working as a hooker mop, going for every broom who would lay down a quarter for a bristle job."

"Stop it! Don't talk like that!" Jackie punches Francis knocking him out of Allie's hand.

"I warned her." Jackie defends herself.

"Oh save me, save me! He's an animal!" Allie said in the same fake voice as she went to go pick him up off the floor.

"This is silly." Janis decides.

"It's the only thing I had to distract me! Now you've ruined it!" Allie starts freaking out.

"Well what do you want me to do about it?!" Jackie yells.

"Hey, hey, hey. Stop yelling okay? You're just sucking up all the air!" Allie continues to freak out.

"Hey don't tell me-"

"Aw, jeez! Huge nostrils, slurping up all the precious oxygen!"

"Allie get a hold of yourself!" Janis joins in.

"Claustrophobic, not," she starts hyperventilating, "getting," inhale "enough," inhale "air!" Jackie punches Allie in the face.

"I warned her." Jackie says as Allie goes down and doesn't get back up.

"Damn," Janis looks at Allie on the floor, "She's out cold, you throw a pretty good punch!"

"Yeah well, I used to live in a tough neighborhood," Jackie explained.

"You learned how to fight?" Janis asked.

"No, I just got beat up a lot. So now to release my pent up childhood anger I like to sucker punch people when I can." Jackie told her. "Now what do we do with her?" Jackie looks at Allie.

"We gotta make it look like she fell!" Janis said.

"It does look like she fell." Jackie points out.

"Well then, let's strip her down and take blackmail photos. That's how we got my third grade teacher to stop drinking. Come on we'll pose her with Francis!"

"Whore!" Jackie yells kicking Francis.

"I really gotta get out of here," Allie says finally getting up form the floor.

"Heeeeeey there, Allie. Woah. Nice eye." Jackie said looking at her now, purpley eye.

"Oh. You're awake, excellent," Janis smiles. Allie looks at her then punches Janis in the face, causing her to go down.

"There's not enough air in here for," inhale "MY LUNGS ARE IMPLOADING!" She dramatically faints.

"Yeah, that's right PUNK!" Jackie crosses her arms. Allie gets back up. "Hey, should we let Janis sleep with a hit on the head like that. Cause I heard once that you're not supposed to-"

"NO! Let her sleep. She'll need a lot less air." Allie said, panicked.

"She might die, idiot!" Jackie said.

"Then she'll need _a lot_ less."

"Hey I'm not knocked out yet!" Janis yells from the floor.

"Shut up!" Jackie and Allie tell her at the same time.

* * *

"Say Janis, you have a brain sometimes. Think us up a way out of here." Jackie tells her. 

"Well, first off what do we have on hand that we could use to-"Janis gets cut off.

"FIRE!" Allie screams. She regains her composure. "Sigh, start a fire to set of the smoke alarms so we, "she loses it again, "can get RESCUED! AND THEN WE CAN BREATHE! Haha!"

"Yeah that'll work, right after we die of smoke inhalation or blow ourselves through the roof!" Janis says sarcastically.

"THAT'S IT!" Jackie yells, "We'll blow ourselves out! Anyone got a lighter?"

"Come on people!" Janis is desperately trying to keep the order. "Do you know how old this place is? It's just waiting to catch fire."

"Yeah if I had a nickel for every time I…OH MY GOD! I'M CLAUSTERPHOBIC! WE GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE!" Jackie jumps up and punches Allie again.

"I've got a plan!" She declares. She rummages around on the floor until she finds out what she's looking for. She picks up Francis the mop.

"We get the devilishly good looking Francis here to sing his irresistible siren song and lure unsuspecting people into the closet. And then we shanghai 'em and make THEM think of a plan."

"Or," Janis decides, "We try and unlock the door."

"Well then, why don't you just shoot down every suggestion I come up with? Why don't you call Bruce Springsteen, and tell him to get another nickname because you're already the boss?! Huh?! Why don't you do that?!" Jackie starts to rant.

"Um…I'm gonna go try and unlock the door now. Who's Bruce Springsteen?" Janis says nervously.

"Who's Bru-….honestly, you people." Jackie calms down and sits on a box.

"COME ON ALREADY!" Allie's up again. "I'm runnin' on CO2 here. And, and, we really should have some plants in this room."

"Will you shut up?" Janis is getting mad, "I'm trying to concentrate here."

"Oh yeah, God forbid anybody speak while the all mighty Janis is working, nooooooooooo don't want to incur the wrath of Janis! Thou shall have no other gods before Janis! Might Janis! Be Janis! Janis is…" Jackie is still ranting.

"Do you want this door open or not?" Janis says through clenched teeth.

"…I do."

"Okay then."

"Okay then."

"Here I'll even give you something to keep you guys busy. I'll give you a topic. Rhode Island, neither a road nor an island, discuss." Janis says before going to work.

* * *

'What the hell were you thinking man?!" Allie yells at Jackie. After it being calm for a few moments it had all gone insane again. 

"Electricity seems to work for other stuff, I thought it might works for this," Jackie says calmly.

"Great now we're trapped and we have no light." Janis had given up on the lock.

"Hey there's some board games up here!" Jackie notices them on a shelf.

"Which ones?" Janis asks.

"Umm…Operation?" Jackie tries to read in the dark.

"Oh yeah, that sounds like fun." Allie said, seemingly over her issues now. "Big naked white guy, with no scrumdidlyumtious what so ever."

"Yeah it reminds me of Silence of the Lambs, when they guy tucks it in, 'Put the lotion in the basket…'" Jackie comments. Then they hear laughing outside of the door. They assume it to be their captor. "You're laughing 'cause you've done you freak!" Jackie yells angrily.

"What other games we got?" Janis asks.

"Monopoly." Jackie tells them. "Of course, everybody has Monopoly."

"But strangely, nobody likes it." Allie said. "Even if you think you like it, you don't." She adds when Janis looked like she was about to say something. "Any you know why? Because here's everyone two and a half hours into a game of monopoly," Allie kicks one of the boxes on the floor, "Fuck this game!" She then starts to argue with herself, "Where's you get the fifties you cheating whore? Why you always wanna be the banker, huh? I should cut your head off with this little doggy. Then walk away with the little hat on my head looking all dignified."

"Hey that's not funny," Jackie interjects, "Growing up we had to actually use that iron! It's really hard to iron a shirt with that tiny iron!"

"I know! Let's make up our own game!" Janis decides. "It can be kinda like Jeopardy!"

"Ok I'll start!" Jackie gets excited. "You normally drink water out of one of these."

"Buzz!" Allie yells, "A leather glove."

"No."

"Aww okay I got one!" Allie looks happy, then stops, confused. "I forget it. Oh well that was stupid."

'Hey I don't see you coming up with any bright ideas!" Janis gets angry.

"Hey leave her alone! That's what you said about our mop idea!" Jackie adds.

"Oh please, if you were cat food, you'd be Meow Bitch!" Janis yells back at her.

"…Or Fancy Bitches." Allie finishes for Janis. They're all quiet for a moment trying to decide weather to drag this fight out or not. "We should point out each other's faults more often. It's like a crazy old aunt that lives in the cellar: everybody knows she's down there, but nobody wants to talk about her. Well, I say bring her on up and give the bitch a good hosing." Allie decides for them.

"Okay then, I pose a conundrum to you, a riddle if you will." Jackie begins, "What's the difference between you and a mallard with a cold. One's a sick duck... I can't remember how it ends, but your mother's a whore."

"Jackie, you ignorant slut!" Janis said.

"Well you always were a little bit slow. The doctors call it dyslexia. But when you were younger we just called it retardation." Allie tells Jackie.

"Bitch you don't know my life!" Jackie defends her mental status.

"Hey we're still trapped in here!" Janis reminds them.

"What do you want me to do?!" Allie said getting hysterical again. "Bust through the wall, take off my clothes, fashion an umbrella from them and Mary Poppins my way down?!"

"Well why don't you?!" Janis retorts.

"Because I'm good enough, smart enough, and, doggone it people like me!" Allie says proudly. She then loses it again. "We're gonna be in here forever aren't we? Game over, man! GAME OVER!" She begins to cry.

'What the hell are you doing?" All three girls look up to see the door open and Batman looking at them strangely.

* * *

Sorry for the lack of actual Justice league in this chapter, but don't worry they'll be back. 

And review!

PLEASE!

We have no idea where we're going with this plot really.

If you have any ideas we can gladly tie a few of them in somehow.


	4. Spice Up Your Life!

How does one make up an excuse for an almost 3 month long delay?

I have no idea.

These chapters only pop up at random moments of sleeplessness and caffeine consumption.

I won't taunt you with a promise for more regular updates.

* * *

Last time on The Transfers Raise Hell…

"Hey we're still trapped in here!" Janis reminds them.

"What do you want me to do?!" Allie said getting hysterical again. "Bust through the wall, take off my clothes, fashion an umbrella from them and Mary Poppins my way down?!"

"Well why don't you?!" Janis retorts.

"Because I'm good enough, smart enough, and, doggone it people like me!" Allie says proudly. She then loses it again. "We're gonna be in here forever aren't we? Game over, man! GAME OVER!" She begins to cry.

'What the hell are you doing?" All three girls look up to see the door open and Batman looking at them strangely.

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the ranch…

"There's no one here." Batman stated. After the girls shared a confused look they realized the Batman was not addressing them.

"But…I…There was!" Superman sputtered. Batman turned around to face Superman, and as he did he tossed the girls a key. He closed the closet door and as soon as he did the three musketeers jumped up and pressed their ears against it. They listened until they were sure Batman and Superman were gone. Jackie, who had caught the key, looked at the other 2. They turned around, and there it was, another door. How could they have missed it? The world may never know. Janis and Allie looked around as Jackie busied herself with unlocking the door.

"Hey we've got Connect Four!" Janis exclaimed excitedly pulled a box off the shelf.

"Yeah, and?" Allie said walking over as Jackie opened the door.

"It's the thrill of checkers... _vertically_." Janis exclaims with more emotion than any Lifetime movie ever made.

"Just come one," Jackie grabbed the two of them and they walked through the door. They went down a twisty staircase until they got to another door. They found themselves somewhere in the yard.

"Well now what do we do," wondered Janis.

"I don't know," sighed Allie. "This is more depressing than when they took off Darth Vader's helmet and he looked like Curly from The Three Stooges, you know that was the biggest let down to every kid in America."

"We could watch movies," suggested Jackie.

"Oh! Let's watch Patton!" Janis squealed.

"Nah, lets watch The Great Escape," Allie decided.

"Hey now! You don't mess with George C. Scott! You don't," Janis paused. "Although sexually you do, 'cause he'd be a badass in the bedroom. Besides you just wanna sleep with Steve McQueen!"

Allie rolled her eyes. "I'm not going to sleep with Steve McQueen, but I'd hug him."

"You guys are both crazy. We need to watch Star Wars! I felt many things after I first watched Star Wars. Chief among them that I wanted my own light saber."

"Ew no! Lucas says that he planned out all these stories from the very beginning, so why are Luke and Leia kissing in the first one? Why in the first poster of Star Wars is she clinging to his leg, like an inch and a half from his crank, and then two years later it's his sister!" Janis protested.

"Some kinky shit going on in the galaxy far, far away." Jackie told her.

"Well none of this really matters. We probably shouldn't go back to the house tonight. If The Dukes of Hazzard has taught me anything, it's that if you're ever in trouble, get in your car, and flee." Allie informed them.

"We don't have a car," Jackie said sadly.

"Well then what should we do?" Janis asked. Jackie smiled.

"I have an idea."

* * *

-The next morning-

The league was eating Alfred's delicious breakfast. Alfred was just happy to finally have house guests that were up early enough to enjoy his breakfast. Bruce was also awake in the early hours for the first time in a while. He was still trying to explain the happenings of the night before to Superman. He was failing miserably. Juts when he thought it couldn't get any worse the girls came in through the front door. Any hope Batman may have had at explaining this one, was lost when the girls walked into the kitchen.

Well Janis walked anyway. Jackie was being dragged by Janis who was holding her by one of her pant legs. Allie skipped in behind them, dancing to a tune only she herself could hear.

All eyes in the room were on them, and it was making Allie, who was already paranoid enough, uncomfortable. She stopped dancing to glare at them.

"Oh for the love of my ass, stop staring! It burns! Who do you think you are? What with the fancy dinette set and CD tray." Allie resumed her jig.

"All right!" Wonder Woman jumped up. "This ends now! Who are you?" The girls ignored her and continued their trek through the kitchen. "Will you stop that!" Wonder Woman yelled at Allie, who continued to shake it. In the surprise of Wonder Woman's outburst, Janis had pulled too hard on Jackie's pants cause them to come off revealing her Darth Vader undies. Not being totally coherent herself, Janis, instead of doing the sensible thing and asking for help or just leaving Jackie there, she grabbed Jackie's ankle and made a run for it out the other kitchen door. Allie soon followed sashaying after them.

"What happened?!" Batman called after them.

Allie moon walked back and leaned into the doorway.

"Amsterdam," she stated and continued to shimmy her way upstairs.

Now all eyes were on Batman.

"Well you see…this is what happened," and he explained everything. The story was about as long as the Village People were gay. So it is needless to say that the league was preoccupied with the tale for the next several hours.

* * *

-Much Later that night in the attic-

The girls were unceremoniously sprawled all over their attic. Jackie was by the door in the exact spot where Janis had dumped her. She was conscious now, but hadn't bothered to move at all. Allie was sitting on the windowsill hooking paperclips together for no particular reason. Janis was on one of the beds, upside down.

"I feel bad about surprising them like that," Janis lamented.

"We should apologize somehow," Allie said looking up form her paper clips. "But it'll be difficult."

"More difficult than trying open up than a condom at prom night?" Jackie asked sitting up.

"Yeah," Janis replied. "I don't think just saying 'sorry' will quite do it. 'Cause it's not like we really mean it, and I'm a horrible actor."

"We should bake them a cake!" Jackie said jumping up.

"Hope its chocolate for meeeeee!" Janis sang.

"Hm, to simple. We need to spice it up." Allie put down her paper clips and put her hand on her chin thoughtfully.

"We'll bake it in the dead of the night dressed a ninjas!" Janis blurted out quickly.

"No no, it needs something more. Anyway what makes you think I have a ninja costume?" Allie said defensively.

"I don't know, something just tells me."

"We could jump out of the cake!" Jackie interjected.

"I don't know. Do you think it would offend them?" Janis said unsurely.

"Pssh. They'll love it! Especially Wonder Woman, the entire subtext of her existence, to me, screams S&M," Allie said.

* * *

-Later in the kitchen-

"Shhh! You guys are the worst ninjas ever!" Jackie berated her companions.

"Aw come one! I'm stealthy as the night…Don't I look like silent death? Bringing justice! In the night!" Allie tried to defend herself.

"No," Jackie and Janis answered in tandem.

"Whatever. The important thing is that I look damn good." Allie crossed her arms. "How are we going to make a cake so big? It would take way too long in the oven."

"Ummm hello?! Microwave!" Jackie gave Allie a look. "Say you've got a baked potato. In the old days, 9 weeks, minimum. Microwave?" She snaps her fingers. "Done!"

Jackie and Allie's argument was loudly interrupted by a crash. They turned around to see Janis on the floor with a pot on her head, surrounded by other such cooking paraphernalia. She grinned sheepishly.

"If I had any dignity that would have been humiliating."


End file.
